Aphorisms: they ain't all gems.

 Life these days is like a silverfish with fallen arches.  All hundred ninety of its furry disgusting legs hurt, every wiggling run from under my cast iron bathtub on eagle claw tub tootsies.  Feet.  Claws.  The repulsive insects have been living here forever, no harm I know of.   Maybe they belong to a hate group.   If so, they are keeping me out of the loop.

The aging process has made me more like a silverfish.   My formerly smarmy black whiskers,   flowing and smug, like youth, look like the awn covering the serpentine hideous sick cousin of the centipede.   Centipedes also come out of the woodwork.  And from under the eagle claw bathtub I'm stuporous in so much of the time.  

Harmless and ugly.   Thankful for one.  Tolerant of the other.   I am able to picture Heavens, by the bunch,  in the imagination.   An imagination and prayer are similar.  Can be rolled into bales.  Can be related to mindful others.    People are slow on the up-take.

 

Before I squat down and share all my blues, my sadnesses, my miseralities (I'm taking liberties) I want to apologize in advance for serious poor taste.   But the right to free expression is bastard when it gets a wild hair up it's red, white and blue ass.    I'm a tasteless fool some mornings:

I wonder how much the Pope's tumor is worth on the dark web.    

Are Pope tumors relics in the same way was a hunk of the Cross?   

How much to blood stains go for, assuming it bled out of someone more important than common Toms, Dicks and Harries?    I think body fluids are marketable.    Ask a call girl.  

Do bingo beans radiate divine energy?

Fiction: Decades In Pittsburgh (it's total bullshit)

 

Decades In Pittsburgh

Gather round.   Everyone needs to hear the story of how I acquired the Magic Pogo Stick.  I hop hop hop around on it everywhere.   The simple mechanical device has become a  part of me.  It is unique from common pogo sticks.  

I am respectful towards all spring operated amusement gadgets and feel compelled to seek special dispensations not granted common stick hopping personage.     

The pogo stick looks ordinary.    Like the one’s sold online now.   Temu sells pogo sticks, and customers have posted glowing feedback about them.   Very good steel compression springs by our trading partners in China.   I’m happy as a Pennsylvania religious snake handler during  groundhog estrus.   

I cannot speak for all pogo sticks.   My expertise is limited to models produced during the Great Depression.   Sears Roebuck sold the things out of their eponymous famous catalogs.  I owned models sold by Sears.   Hopped all over the place on those fine products.  But to my knowledge, and I respect differing accounts by other pogo hopping individuals, magic is not blown into the   tubing  at the factory like aerosol insulating foam.

I was skateboarding on a dreadfully steep incline.   Flying downward, serpentine, on my  board, thunder slammed, chariots in the sky popped wheelies, horses screaming and blowing equine snot,   A hail storm began as if stern vulgar  warnings were in progress.     Bruising hail stonies thwapped viciously on my plastic helmet.     Freezing rain poured like a trillion hateful hoses.  I lost balance and the gushing filty water carried me careening down the incline.   Seconds before an eighteen wheel truck tried to run me over the flood forced me, painfully, down a storm drain.   That was painful.  Freezing cold.   Water up to my snoot.

Choking and freezing down there, treading water to breathe, I injured a foot on the pogo stick.  Reaching to dislodge it from my…self…it leaped magically upward with a splash and bubbles. 

Sadly, the decaying corpse of the guy who used to own the Magic Pogo Stick was still clinging to it, and I had to pry his remains off of it.  But soon, the stick perked up.  We were best of friends.  Placing my feet on the part you put your feet on, the Magic Pogo stick began talking to me.  It said, “Hey Bruce, let’s get out of this filthy putrid storm drain.”

I said, “There you go, Stick, you have the right idea.”   Together, the Magic Pogo Stick and I heaved upward.  And down.  Up again, naturally, until it and I was back on Federal Street, and the sun was shining.   Osage oranges were rolling downward, bumping into things, happy as could be.   The green, inedible warty fruits mischievously cracked into fenders, headlights, chrome grills and windshields as drivers tried to avoid the osage oranges on their ways to work.   I was down one skateboard, it was lost in that disgusting putrid storm drain, that horrid hell hole, and went forward hopping.  Hop hop hopping on the Magic Pogo Stick.   And nothing too shitty has happened so far.

Yes, I could use help of an agent who is affiliated with a paying honest established mainstream book publisher.

 Yes, I want to form a writer's group, with meeting place in Pittsburgh, Pa.   Anyone want to help?

Herbal medicine: Valerian root powder doesn't care if you are a Democrat or a Republican. It treats anxiety the same.

 

It's dastardly, I tell you, dastardly.   The way Democrats and Republicans have everything in common such as eating, shitting and breathing, and in  so many more ways we all bleed and vomit similarly, and with lovely variables among us all that make us all unique and special.    

Individuals of both parties have similar interests and similar goals.   Both might want a higher paying job.   Or to be taken care of by doctors and nurses, when sick or infirm,  who don't cut their throats with a straight razor because they are poor or from a hated ethnic group.  For heaven's sake, equal care for indigent sectors of the lower middle class.   We all hope to convalesce someplace where violent terrorists can't pose as minimum wage earning blue scrub-wearing  buttwipes and kill poor sick elderly us in our farting troubled sleep.  That's an awful lot of drama.

Where did this rant come from?   Intestinal turgor?  Nerves?  Substances?  No, damn it.  The dastardly element is the Dems and GOPs might enjoy each other's goddam fucking company.  They might share info on herbal meds.  Herbal medicine is not liberal, progressive, conservative, fascist, and is not mere pseudo-science and superstition.  People derive real health benefits from herbal teas, infusions, tinctures and edibles.

Why be an asshole of the universe and treat herbalism as bolonging to one political party of the other?  Health  is one of all reasons for people to stop sustaining interpersonal rancor.  Presidential politics should never have come to voters blaming voters for the foibles of politicians, who are assholes, assholes assholes all.   Herbalism.   It knows no party affiliation.

...

Maybe I'm wrong.  Maybe people should hate, harm and misadvise each other.   Who gives a shit about well being.  Stay sick, for fuck sake.  Kidding.  Be well, dear readers.  

Aphorism: I compose aphorisms frequently, and present them on this blog. Enjoy, dear souls!

 

The best things in life are inexpensive.   A songwriting genius of eld said 'the best things in life are free,' and the old prick was right about that.  Don't cost nothing to get yer rocks off if two or more parties agree to have sex in a safe private location, no babies or animals allowed in the room, and no one is under age or is whacked out of their mind or unconscious.   Zero tolerance here for sex crime.  

...

Sex crimes against alpacas is on the rise in some parts of the United States.  There needs to be a television show in which a news personality catches people arranging sex with a dog.  With modern AI the late Walter Cronkite could report on an  underworld of animal perverts.  

...

Ferret abusers need to be jailed. Branded.   Like cattle.   They get the scarlet letter branded on their foreheads.   The scarlet letter 'F.' Ferret molester.   How could anyone do that disgusting sex act I heard about once while a guest in an East Coast youth hostel.  You can see why Hitler and Stalin hated intellectuals.   

...

in the best of circumstances people don't need protection.   Dorothea received assistance and protection from forest animals and a blond witch.   

It's better not to need the police.  People need cops, though, calling them at all hours.   All I mean is that if people lived three deep in lovely nice honest people it would get more like a free country.  Sheee-it. Evil destroys love and freedom.

...

Practical elements of religion:  Someone I knew said that she had an intense fear of death all her life, and she solved this problem by adopting faith in Jesus Christ.   Secure in the belief she will go to a better place after death, she doesn't fear it.  And perhaps looks forward to meeting Saint Peter, if he hasn't been replace with an intersectionalist, globalist progressive.   Maybe these days you have to agree with a million agendas, smiling and hoping, to be let into the all new Trump Heaven.  Bill Gates and Elon Musk will be up there, too!  If what people say is true, by Jesus...Jeffrey Epstein might be your friend and neighbor when you enter the Pearly Gates.

 

I don't usually pull this stunt, but I pasted a group of poems I posted on Craigslist Literary and Writing Forum over the last month.    But first, I need to break loud wind about what has become a sick, hostile climate for low net worth writers.    It sucks being poor, and in addition, the business of being a writer has been completely enslaved by corporations, oligarchs, elitists, Marxists and a monopolistic media establishment.  On a time line a plethora of new platforms, social media, came into existence, enable artists and writers to sell their media...and that then it all went in reverse.   It became impossible for the majority of people to make money on the internet, or anywhere else.   It's impossible to sell self published novels downtown while squatting on the sidewalk.  Please enjoy my latest poems published on Craigslist:

0% of this handle's posts in the last 31 days have been deleted.

up to 50 posts from the last 31 days for AdamPugsly:

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After Much Fracking < AdamPugsly > 2026-09-23 17:07 +5




holy heaven earth cracks vaginal
Mr. Balls falls eight feet down the chasm
the toxic peter pan screams for his weasel life
why you down the fracky hole
he is jeered to
by a stout
and powerful
tribeswoman
Pull me out doomed hiker screams
she says no
you in a fracky she warns
urinal cake she calls him
she squats
he winces

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Real Monster < AdamPugsly > 2026-09-23 13:26



he has toes like a trombone playing tree sloth
a prehensile foot abnormally long
a rope-like oscillating wang
one foot so normal you'd cry
the other tootsie a badger fourteen inches
needs two pro keds in different sizes
one gigundo
and the Balkan Prince Sparky
is built

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The Mean Compost < AdamPugsly > 2026-09-21 13:03 +1



a bubble in the fountain grew
it had been a likable element
narrow lapels
a fluid pale as water
like a compound can be subllme
it's the cast of a Broadway extravaganza
soap hatred formed that prismatic film
the bubble of gas
decaying matter
maybe a decaying woodchuck
spontaneous combustion
gas explosion
earth flatulence
gross natures
and I always wanted beauty

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She Wrongful Packer < AdamPugsly > 2026-09-17 02:52 -5



It is more than the way you load the nganga,
Wanda
it isn't the bill you receive from Hammacher Schlemmer
I am not the Johnson Smith catalog
I pack the musket with stardust
the kind that erodes from stars
witch, wrongful packer
No pyre on this quarter acre lot has Ohio sparkler nonsense
you called me an ethnic prince during that ceremony
soon that fissure cause an old lady to die
it was your poorly assembled nganga that allowed the fissure
thirty feet down that poor old lady fell, terrorized
landing to her death in a mine shaft
witch,
you are a wrongful packer of talismanic objects

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Witch Unpleasantness < AdamPugsly > 2026-09-17 02:39


couldn't bongo
should load the nganga with talismanic things
lite the pyre
Wanda encroaches upon voodoo
hers
mine
theirs
and with the goddam identity things up asses
you'd bongo shitty too, witch

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Wising Up A Little Somewhere < AdamPugsly > 2026-09-13 06:13 -10+2




Maybe I'm as vicious as anyone else, and these things are circumstantial in nature, being a sweetheart one year and a bastard the next. might say it's happening at the federal level, the ICE raids for instance. but I'm talking about interpersonal problems.

A dear friend of years back had a simple way of saying a million things. In one conversation at a diner in R.I. I said "I'm a nice guy."

He said, "You're a prick."

I liked the guy way too much to be insulted and ages forward the universal truth, people are pricks when they are, and at other times sweeties, changed from one single card in the deck to all fifty two cards. Any card in the deck can fuck you in a game of anything, and my pal knew that from hard knocks and the advice he got growing up in the Bronx. A guy could choke on too much cultural diversity.

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Rant < AdamPugsly > 2026-09-12 09:44 -5+5

Gather 'round, hunters, gatherers, cowpokes, jamokes and hard cases. It's time for ya'll to listen to me moan. I moan audible. Not loud. You can hear me doing it. That's what matters. What moves mind and body from material to supernatural sensations. Faith holds congress with belief in sensuality.

I moan for the death of common pool halls. I sure as fuck don't have an eight foot slate billiard table here in my own private East Buttfuck. There ain't no pool halls left open for business in this sorry miserable place not deserving of it's pompous jackass-sounding name. I'm not naming where this violent pestilential behavior is spreading gloom and collective torpor. But there's no chance of operating a pool hall in this district, and most other districts, without assholes shooting someone over a squabble.



People aren't playing pool, I'm not playing pool, and this is only one of the most far away reasons Poorly Rotating Earth is going to shit.

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reading with music < AdamPugsly > 2026-08-31 17:09 -5




https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AFcW18Suxkk

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Headless Man < AdamPugsly > 2026-08-31 16:26 -5+5





break a tradition with trident
pull bayonette from steel sheath
let your hernia pain you sharply
oooh-eee when a whole century
chiseled your form into Mr. Hairy Lardo
your ears beveled for irregular circling
insanely heavy and lofting with ridiculous ease
too easy talking to historic amazons
one-breasted spear fighters take your suggestions
next month
they are letting men have sex with them
the praying mantis kills males used for mating
wise bitch