Monday, October 10, 2016

The Sinus Politic and the Occult

Since before, and now again right after the Presidential Debate, candidate Donald Trump raised notice of a mannerism.   An unsettling one.   An ugly duckling in sound.   He has a labored, eerie and badly audible  way of drawing air up his nose.

 I don't really know how he achieves this effect, it's his snoot, his speech impediment, and I'm not Superman.  I can't peer into his sinus-obstructed head with X-ray eyes.  For as little as I have in common with the voting public, though, it seems nearly everyone in the US wants to know what's wrong with Donald, not allowing for the fact that he could be the best Prez in world history, in spite of sounding too fucking weird for most when he talks.

Most people commenting on Facebook think he's a cocaine addict, and his schozola is caving in, like a frugal coal mine in pastoral West Virginia.  A rare few intellectuals have suggested he is having a cosmetic surgery malfunction.   An unlucky nose job could cause breathing problems.  I am compelled as an amateur social scientist to seek an explanation, and to share it, free of charge, for dick, nothing, on the outside chance it in any small way benefits the greater human condition.  World affairs.  The ways balls bounce.  We all want to know why Donald Trump talked like that during the Presidential Debate.  It may have been the occult.

Hillary Clinton may have put a curse on his septum, or sinus area in general.  If she doesn't know the secret words and have the requisite mojo, other people may.  An associate of Hillary's could have an offshore  Ph.d. in voodoo.   Those possibilities aside, any witch can put a curse on a candidate's proboscis, and cause the poor bastard to sound dreadful at the microphone while debating Hillary Clinton.   You can buy a kit off ebay for less than five bucks.

If that latter thought seems preposterous, fuck it all, just look at the smart phone.  It's amazing.  So is voodoo, when it works.   Both the smart phone and magic are equally beguiling.  The low cost of imported talismans and decoder rings makes it possible for almost anyone to screw politicians over.

 It's never been better to be dirt poor during an exhausting, scary election season.  We have a voice, in the spirit world.  There is hope for human kind in the occult.  Be a witch.





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