I've given the matter a lot of thought, and I have the solution to gun violence in public schools. As many manic Appalachian folk have shared with me, the truth is so simple no one thought of it before. Sports. The javelin. An often under-rated field sport. When was the last time you got horny over a really stacked javelin thrower? That's so wrong. Javelin throwing is a graceful sport, and for some reason I feel as though it is the activity of the hour. The epidemic of school shootings.
A lot of inner city schools don't even have track and field sports. They're not insured against human imperfection. So troubling. I propose public schools everywhere revitalize the sport, and stock all class rooms, like trout in a cement pond, with javelins which can be thrown at school shooters. Some nut case comes in the room with an AK, everyone grabs a spear and goes to work. Hall monitors could get in formation and say, "Halt, who goes there." This could really raise a lot of positive school spirit.
Shooters can be teamed up on by school kids wielding modified sports harpoons in a spectrum of bright candy colors, much like those lovely rifles athletes shoot during winter Olympics skiing rituals. Kids can be encouraged to charge in like Zulus and spear the assailant to death. And holy jeepers, nothing works better than a common ordinary stick when you need to disarm an asshole with a gun or knife. The SOBs have been known to work wonders. Bashing people over the head with sticks has been carried off successfully many times, many places. It makes me gag the way people are immune to the obvious.
And never forget, football is a military sport. That's all for A Little Common Sense With Bruce.
A lot of inner city schools don't even have track and field sports. They're not insured against human imperfection. So troubling. I propose public schools everywhere revitalize the sport, and stock all class rooms, like trout in a cement pond, with javelins which can be thrown at school shooters. Some nut case comes in the room with an AK, everyone grabs a spear and goes to work. Hall monitors could get in formation and say, "Halt, who goes there." This could really raise a lot of positive school spirit.
Shooters can be teamed up on by school kids wielding modified sports harpoons in a spectrum of bright candy colors, much like those lovely rifles athletes shoot during winter Olympics skiing rituals. Kids can be encouraged to charge in like Zulus and spear the assailant to death. And holy jeepers, nothing works better than a common ordinary stick when you need to disarm an asshole with a gun or knife. The SOBs have been known to work wonders. Bashing people over the head with sticks has been carried off successfully many times, many places. It makes me gag the way people are immune to the obvious.
And never forget, football is a military sport. That's all for A Little Common Sense With Bruce.
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