Thursday, November 22, 2018

The Unibomber's manifesto is more famous than this one, but look where he is.


Kay bingle oogie raga! The New Linguistic Order wants to thank everyone like they pitched in cash. You showed up. That's plenty for now. I feel like talking, and you're here to talk to. Oogie raga!

First of everything, this beanstalk growing up my ass is theory. It's for non-believers, mostly, with an aphorism or two for everyone else. I believe heavily in organic personality traits. One may be a pugnacious born blowhard or hard wired healing angel of mercy. Some hot studs are born with a natural tendency to pontificate. Or to moralize. A tendency to either believe or doubt almost anything, corporeal or illusory, has been socked onto the same platform with hair and eye color. 

It's still impossible, in all cases, to levitate or walk through walls. But there have been millions of poor dumb suckers, since Genesis, who were made to believe it's possible. People are born with the ability to instill belief and fervor in others. Some of these folks do it by pontificating. Preaching, mayhaps, as in the case of religious leaders. My theory is that religion itself, and the practice of it, originates and sustains because some people have a hereditary trait for pontificating, which in preachers, takes the from of sermonizing.

Whether a leader is a delusional snake-handling Baptist, a dogmatically self-riteous rabbi, or a constipated methodist minister, the origin of the personality is moon walking within the double helix. They got that way when mom and pop did the wild thing. How the Earth got here is science. How one deals with being on it is linguistic. People are bargaining, negotiating, interacting ass motherfuckers. We shape life by writing and talking.

The New Linguistic Order is another shot at making a substitute institution. Churches are impractical. Too much up keep. The internet is where the new alternative is located. It's a humanitarian charity share of bandwidth. As near as anyone I know gets to power over the universe is in their ability to describe it, hence quazi-religious faith in linguistics. Also, in heredity. And in silliness. Nonsense words matter, because they sound fun. Like the NLO official slogan, 'oogie raga.' It doesn't mean shit. I just like saying it.

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