Juggling At Home

 It's bad enough they don't teach shop class in schools anymore, but they need to go back to teaching public health. When I took health class in 1967 we had a great big eighty year old jock for a teacher, and he was a well spring of modern info. He would tell us to ease up on the Camel straights, and quit gargling whiskey first thing in the morning. That was some darn good advice. Most of us were coughing our lungs up.

We learned about how the organs of the body start waving a white flag when they're about to go to the hot place, like when your liver swells up and you start puking all over the place. He'd tell us to eat some veggies, so we can crap normally. He even showed us how to burn suspicious skin lesions off using a soldering iron. Naturally, we'd get yelled at if we didn't return the things to shop class right away. Teachers were strict back then. Most important, though, he told us not to be a bunch of whiners when we get a few teeth knocked out playing sports. That happens to every one. The important thing is that the team wins.

It remains to be seen what happens with the pandemic, and all. Maybe they can start back up with public health class next year.

Shopping for bargains

 

Still sweating like a pig from running errands on the bicycle, there's more news to report re: Dollar Tree stores. I'd mentioned before the advanced, munificent medicine aisle. You can get a home pregnancy test for a buck, but I just noticed they also sell an 'ovulation prognosticator.' Zowie. There's a mystique to that.

Sounds like something Nostradamus used to determine ascendancy, or Magellan might have used it to decide how many cases of Trojans he needed for his voyages on ship. It's hard enough for an ancient mariner to decide un-lubricated or whale oil. Especially true when you're hunting Moby Dick. But returning to Dollar Tree, they sell diaper rash ointment, too, so they got everything covered. Great place. I shop there.

I'm making changes. You should, too. Things will be getting nuts.

 Fashion is the last hope for desperate politics.   Get radical.  

poem: Morons All

Morons All

the parrot on my shoulder 

at the desperate sucker's ball

repeats the things some genius says

with no critique at all

only saying platitudes

best loved at the sucker's ball

the chorus sings this favorite

about our leader's gall

to say things incomprehensible

to guests at this moron's ball

Poem: Too Mean To Get It

Too Mean To Get It

the germ is not so infirm
as to pick on an unfit intern
selective febrile and stern
the inauspicious germ
is not my greatest concern

is any person so mean
as to make the germ vent its spleen?
it looked over at me
from the banks at Yangtzee
sick like a case of gangrene

Universalism, and not a peep about lurid sex