Monday, May 27, 2013

Reducing Violence Incrementally

People are not grand at weighing options.  Or at even identifying options to drop on the balance, oposite brass counterweights.  They just want to live in a world of clean aired, cotton candy peace and prosperity.  How fucking simple and childish.  Like the hog swill I keep hearing from people who churlishly hope to reduce gun violence.  Hope is churlish. 

How's this for overly simplistic:  Apply restrictions to the ownership of guns.   People will supposedly not shoot people if you allow guns here and forbid them elsewhere.  They will stop using violence if you limit them to ten round clips and forbid assault rifles.    Is everyone wearing their glasses and hearing aids?   Do you need another shot of tequila?  People are assholes.  There is a lot of violence part and parcel to it.  People, one way or other, strive not to be a victim of it, hence guns.  There are myriad normal healthy reasons for the use of violence, and a need to reduce gun violence.

Here's my proposal:  more use of fists, knives, and blunt objects.  Countless old timers will tell you that, fifty years ago, police beat residents of Pittsburgh with billy clubs with good results.  Gang fighting, in the 1950s, proved that stabbing and chain whipping could be a fairly quiet, non-lethal method of conflict resolution and sport.  Trips to the emergency room were dick compared to our modern inflow of shooting victims.  It's just too easy, and too lethal, to squabble with guns. 

Switchblades are a veritable aesthetic triumph.  Baseball bats, like a fresh baked apple pie.  And colorful, smiling athletic pugilism.  Use liberally, to deal with all the assholes out there who need it.  But most important, it's everyones responsiblity to beat the devil out of bad people, before they resort to gun violence.   Do it for world peace.

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