Gotta say it, the red menace can be wonderful. That is to say, if you love buying cheap shit off of eBay, the quality and beauty of crap has been inspirational in my home, and could be in yours, too, if you will simply lower your standards and listen.
So true is this crock, I boast that the prettiest object in my moldering hovel is my brand-new electric guitar. It is a daringly accurate copy of the famous Fender Stratocaster.
The guitar is carnal lusting candy apple red, with the virginal white pick guard, and white maple neck, like an anorexic blonde Angel's leg. The hardwood headstock, with shining stainless steel tuning pegs for the Angels toes, is the arch type and personification of glam rock, and of hair bands of the 1980s as well.One should never underestimate the carnality of commercial music and of cheap lurid products. The price of the guitar I bought was pornography in and of itself, a titillating $100 for a guitar that looks precisely like the ones Jimi Hendrix took such pleasure in smashing on stage, his great private package flopping up and down as he struck blow for blow, pelvic thrust for likewise, the guitar against his great Marshall amp.
My new generic copy of a Fender Stratocaster will make noise at least as beautiful as Hendrix' noise, even if I don't play a guitar all that well. The guitar may be a cheap and inferior copy of the original, but at least the sound of it being battered against floorboards will sound the same as that of greatness being equally destructive. A musician needn't be the best, he needs only to entertain.
So true is this crock, I boast that the prettiest object in my moldering hovel is my brand-new electric guitar. It is a daringly accurate copy of the famous Fender Stratocaster.
The guitar is carnal lusting candy apple red, with the virginal white pick guard, and white maple neck, like an anorexic blonde Angel's leg. The hardwood headstock, with shining stainless steel tuning pegs for the Angels toes, is the arch type and personification of glam rock, and of hair bands of the 1980s as well.One should never underestimate the carnality of commercial music and of cheap lurid products. The price of the guitar I bought was pornography in and of itself, a titillating $100 for a guitar that looks precisely like the ones Jimi Hendrix took such pleasure in smashing on stage, his great private package flopping up and down as he struck blow for blow, pelvic thrust for likewise, the guitar against his great Marshall amp.
My new generic copy of a Fender Stratocaster will make noise at least as beautiful as Hendrix' noise, even if I don't play a guitar all that well. The guitar may be a cheap and inferior copy of the original, but at least the sound of it being battered against floorboards will sound the same as that of greatness being equally destructive. A musician needn't be the best, he needs only to entertain.
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