Sunday, May 7, 2017

fiction, continued: My Life On Hollywood Squares

I can still pole vault... age 97 because I've been using Nocroaka Tonic for the last seventy years. A native American gave me the formula. Nice guy. I was puking my guts up on Rodeo Drive, bad acid trip. A wee slug of Nocroaka and I was back to normal as it gets. Exactly what the shit is is still a secret,mine, formerly the Native American gent's, too, but he got run over by a green Peterbuilt trailer truck. I'm sure he'd be here among the living at age 120 if he hadn't incurred misfortune.

Nocroaka prevents you from dropping dead. You still have to look both ways before crossing Rodeo Drive. A shit load of vital nutrients can't hold your hand and burp you. They go organ to organ working miracles. They start in the tum-tum, migrate to the liver, swing a louie to your heart, then all the vitamins and minerals take a jaunt to your brain, and do a nice old job of shoveling out the stables.

You take better craps on Nocroaka.

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