Oooh-weee baby, lets talk medicine.   Ear infection.  I know.   Call a doctor, you stupid moron, I suspect people are thinking, but I was concerned about what it might cost to get professional help.  My ear hurt.  I was getting a wee bit of what I fucking hope was blood on the end of a cotton swab when I tried to clean out what is probably an infected ear canal, like the Russians invaded by submarine through a subversive capillary.   I felt concern and discomfort.  I pondered what to do, then was edified from within and googled the sentence "is it safe to shove antibiotic cream in your ear if you think it's infected?"

I want in the worst way to share the tiny joys that bliss my dreary fourth quarter existence, retired, what ever else shit existentialism pervades.   In seconds the answer unscrambled a kind loving radiant big breasted, "Yes, it is safe to use antibiotic cream to treat your cheapskate loser medical problem.  Assholes everywhere, ones too cheap and unsuccessful  to see a professional, get lovely results by squirting budget brand cream in their ear.  Stick the nozzle in deep, motherfucker!"

So great to receive affirmation!  I unpackaged the dollar store generic tube of fester shit.   Shoved the nozzle in up to the hilt, like it was John C Holmes,   and squeezed the healing ooze right where it it was wanted, in that goddam pustule, a festered zit with the temerity to lodge itself in my beautiful inner ear.   Fuck that jive ass bullshit.   I am in recovery.

No shit, this is the zillionth time a product I bought at a dollar store fixed a medical problem.   Call this weenie wagging, I like to remind the medical establishment, where possible, that common stupid peons have managed without the help of greedy health care conglomerates.   I can follow simple instructions, like shove antibiotic shit in your ear, and sleep off whatever else happened.   Thanks for reading.