No secret about wine. 'in vino veritas.' No liars. Only the truth when winos guzzle wine.
Hi. I'm Jolly Bruce, vintner, and I grow grapes that smell like shit. They have to, for the wine to be authentic. Wine lovers hate mendacity. I could blow chunks thinking about anyone breaking with tradition. My people mixed shitty vino for ages now. Why change?
Buy your ass a case of Colon Cancer Reserve. It's white wine. Fucking near Gewertztraminer, but it has pigeon shit floating in it like a colloidal suspension. It's customary to drink around the droppings, as we say on the Continent. People over there are so much better than stupid assholes here.
Americans are hopeless barbarians living off the charity of delusional progressives, while an old guard of conservative people plan outright annihilation of non-sentient ugly peons. Blue bloods only. Enjoying case after case of wine from Bleeding Anus Vineyards.
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