A social scientist has to broach subject matter that may be too unpleasant for right before dinner. Before you ask me for my credentials, I don't have too much of them, gots a stained BA from a dirty college, did some field work in shithole residential treatment facilities, my opinion holds up in a round robin discussion at Wendy's, but this is amateur science, and I must contend that my science is just as good anyone else's. I feel insecure about it, but there must be pro's at John's Hopkins who come up with worse theories. Maybe not. Here's why I'm wearing the white lab coat and jotting in my Big Chief note book:
I have a theory about changing societal customs. An example of a common one is in saying "gesundheit" when someone sneezes. Or, "bless you," which better evokes American hospitality. 'Gesundheit' sounds sorta Nazi, sorta' ethnic. It's a nice custom. I was walking along Liberty Avenue this afternoon. A 'man,' I guess, or possibly a transexual, with shoulder length hair, drag make up, thin build, no tits, and a face like Holly Woodlawn, from Warhol's Factory, turned to me as he walked past and announced, "I just shit myself," and indicated with a fretillement that he wasn't kidding. He had an honest face. Kidding. It's his frankness and openness with a total stranger, me, that lead to my new theory about etiquette. It applies in all situations, even this one. I didn't say anything, in return, but it occurred to me that maybe the right thing to say in a situation like that would be 'butt fucking lately?'
Not sure how clear this is, but I'm seeing a linguistic bonanza, It's the same phoneme/morpheme relationship as in saying 'bless you' when someone sneezes. Man is a social animal, and must reason with changing cultural norms.
Wandering up Wood Street, the police out like walruses traipsing a fiorde, the traffic dense, obstructive and too ferociously managed for road rage, so bully for police presence, more reflections came to me. I might have suggested he switch partners from basket ball players to football players. Or asked if his opiod constipation med kicked in. There was no need for me to be cold and uncaring toward a friendly passerby. But I was confronted with the moment, not of discovery, but of the need for it. I love like cherries jubilee a brisk moment of discovery, and feel pain when at a loss for an ass fucking decent greater understanding of daily life. So the incident couldn't have worked out better.
No matter what is going wrong with people, all the fuck over the place, everywhere, there is always a way to be courteous. But it's more than courtesy. We as a people need to unify, which is impossible to achieve unless everyone is under very tight police surveillance. We need to form silly ad hoc groupings. So everyone can talk about how they and the world can better socialize. I'm calling my discovery the 'incontinence greeting.' I think everyone should learn how to utter an incontinence greeting.
I have a theory about changing societal customs. An example of a common one is in saying "gesundheit" when someone sneezes. Or, "bless you," which better evokes American hospitality. 'Gesundheit' sounds sorta Nazi, sorta' ethnic. It's a nice custom. I was walking along Liberty Avenue this afternoon. A 'man,' I guess, or possibly a transexual, with shoulder length hair, drag make up, thin build, no tits, and a face like Holly Woodlawn, from Warhol's Factory, turned to me as he walked past and announced, "I just shit myself," and indicated with a fretillement that he wasn't kidding. He had an honest face. Kidding. It's his frankness and openness with a total stranger, me, that lead to my new theory about etiquette. It applies in all situations, even this one. I didn't say anything, in return, but it occurred to me that maybe the right thing to say in a situation like that would be 'butt fucking lately?'
Not sure how clear this is, but I'm seeing a linguistic bonanza, It's the same phoneme/morpheme relationship as in saying 'bless you' when someone sneezes. Man is a social animal, and must reason with changing cultural norms.
Wandering up Wood Street, the police out like walruses traipsing a fiorde, the traffic dense, obstructive and too ferociously managed for road rage, so bully for police presence, more reflections came to me. I might have suggested he switch partners from basket ball players to football players. Or asked if his opiod constipation med kicked in. There was no need for me to be cold and uncaring toward a friendly passerby. But I was confronted with the moment, not of discovery, but of the need for it. I love like cherries jubilee a brisk moment of discovery, and feel pain when at a loss for an ass fucking decent greater understanding of daily life. So the incident couldn't have worked out better.
No matter what is going wrong with people, all the fuck over the place, everywhere, there is always a way to be courteous. But it's more than courtesy. We as a people need to unify, which is impossible to achieve unless everyone is under very tight police surveillance. We need to form silly ad hoc groupings. So everyone can talk about how they and the world can better socialize. I'm calling my discovery the 'incontinence greeting.' I think everyone should learn how to utter an incontinence greeting.
No comments:
Post a Comment